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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

One liners - May 2013


One liners for this month:

Here goes:

1.    As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
2.    Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
3.    Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
4.    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
5.    Good judgement comes from bad experience. And bad experience comes from a lot of bad judgement.
6.    I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
7.    I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; It's because I hate plants.
8.    We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
9.    42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
10. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
11. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
12. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
13. I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you!
14. My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
15. Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
16. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
17. I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
18. I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere.
19. I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
20. Don't steal. The government hates competition.
21. I couldn't repair you brakes, so I made your horn louder.
22. National Atheist's Day April 1st.
23. All generalizations are false.
24. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
25. I failed my blood test!

[Source 1 ] [Source 2]

Thanks for reading, and do tell me if my posts are Wise or Wicked...

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