You know you are in My College when..... Conclusion

-:VB:-

This concludes my series of 'You know you are in My College when.....'

Hope you enjoyed reading these articles just as much as I did writing and posting them.

All the characters mentioned herein are real, and bear complete resemblance

This is not a work of Fiction. This is for real, and exists in the realms of this dimension.I know that it is hard for you to believe that such a place even exists on this planet today, but you'd better believe it. IT'S TRUE. It is a place which you have probably never heard of. Even if you hear about it, you would say, "What? Where is it? Never heard of it". I've probably heard it a thousand times.

If I may have missed out on something, do comment on my post. If you have any complaints, keep them to yourself. Don't forget to read my other posts as well. Remember to click the 'Follow' button on the right hand side, I would really appreciate it.

Do tell me about your college experiences, and your adventures and misadventures, and keep reading...


Do comment if you liked my post, and if it is Wise or Wicked...
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You know you are in My College when..... #6 [Gymkhana]

-:VB:-

You know you are in My College [Gymkhana] when.....

• You see the same Gym Instructor even after many years...
• The Instructor is often addressed as 'Professor'.
• The students have more Idea about the games than this instructor.
• There is a separate gymkhana for boys and girls.
• There is no Gymkhana for Girls.
• Some students even have to bring their own Carrom-board coins to reminisce the great luxuries of the Gymkhana..
• The person that you see running around the college, desperately asking students to participate in sports events - is the Gym Instructor.
• All the Footballs and Volleyballs are either deflated or torn or in bad condition.
• All the various cricket bats and balls, badminton rackets, carrom board coins, table-tennis balls, etc. are kept locked away in metal cupboards. These are more precious than the Kohinoor Diamond.
• These items are willfully given to the peons and the lab assistants for playing.
• Even if you beg, you will not be allowed to use them.
• If you are a student, forget it buddy, you have to be reborn as these guys if you want to play with these items.
• None of the students have ever been able to even catch a glimpse of these 'ARTIFACTS'...
• The Gymkhana looks as if a store room has been emptied to make way for it.
• Do Not expect a great deal out of this Gymkhana; the walls are dry with a paint wash, and centuries old torn posters of  a young Kapil Dev, Sachin Tendulkar as a kid, and other legends whom you knew as a kid.
• Do Not expect to achieve something like the likes of Leander Paes, or Saina Nehwal, or Jwala Gutta, or Abhinav Bindra, or Vijendra Singh, or for sports sake - any other sportsperson. If these are your role models, you'd better change the college, no point in coming here.
• The only events you'll win are on 'The Sports Day' [Since it is for 2 days, why not call it Sports Days?... hmmm... I often wonder...]
• If you do not attend the Sports "Day", you have to compulsorily attend college, or else - Bring your Parents to meet the Princi.
• However, the Volleyball team is pretty good, and it is the only thing that keeps sports in the college on high.
• What? You wanna go play at the Intercollegiate level for your college? You'd better win... Or else... No Attendance.. [Jaw dropped....]
• Neither there is a Coach, nor there is a Trainer, nor a Physio. All the Qualities and abilities are hardcore embedded into one person...... You guessed it right..... the Gym Instructor...

Do comment if you liked my post, and if it is Wise or Wicked...
Thanks for reading.

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You know you are in My College when..... #5 [Canteen]

-:VB:-

 

You know you are in My College [Canteen] when.....

• You are clearly facing the Staff-Room which is exactly opposite the Canteen.
• There is a separate section for boys n girls.
• A Cam is seen over your head here as well. 
• No SOFT DRINKS or Carbonated drinks. You won't find Mirinda, Fanta, let alone Pepsi, and Coke. 
• All you can lay your hands on are Appy, Frooti, and Amul Kool.
• The Princi's and the professors orders [who can eat anytime of the day] are more important to the caterer, than the Students orders [who have a short break].
• Some students prefer to eat in the eatery outside the college, rather than the canteen.. However things may have changed today.
• The theory of having an open kitchen for the canteen doesn't go down all too well for me.
• Just like the Librarian, a different caterer is seen every year..
• The Canteen is eco-friendly as crows, mynas, sparrows, and pigeons constantly visit your food, after you are done eating, or even while you are eating. Sometimes, they do dirty the premises as well...

Do comment if you liked my post, and if it is Wise or Wicked...
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You know you are in My College when..... #4 [ID-Card]

-:VB:-

You know you are in My College when.....

Your College ID-Card is Confiscated if:

• Boys and girls are sitting on one single bench.
• Even if they are sitting close to one another. 
• Even if they are holding hands.
• A boy and girl are seen together, no matter what they were doing.
• You are wearing Low-waist or stylist Jeans, Sleeveless tops, Skirts, Skin tight clothes, and Short t-shirts.
• You are donning a new hairstyle
• You are wearing fashionable accessories like Caps, Hats, Goggles, Fancy eyewear, Rings, Chains, etc.
• Your hair is styled, coloured or dyed.
• If you remove your mobile phone from your pocket.. [let alone talking]..
• You are seen carrying a camera in the college, and worse, if you are seen clicking photos with it. YOU NEED PERMISSION for that.
• You argue with Princi's Little Helpers.
• You are seen sitting on the bench-desks or even leaning against them.

Do comment if you liked my post, and if it is Wise or Wicked...
#5 coming up next....

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You know you are in My College when..... #3 [Library]

-:VB:-

 

You know you are in My College [Library] when.....

• There is a separate section in the Library for studying for both Boys n Girls.
• Teachers have a separate room in the Library, with comfy chairs.. :(
• There is a CCTV Cam for strict vigilance on students.
• The library staff constantly moves around the library, giving creeps to you even when you want to study. 
• Most students doze off in the cozy, quiet, silent, comfy environs of the Library.
• Part of the Job Description of the Librarian is to literally... 'Wake students up from their sleep..."
• You are never allowed access to the Bookshelves in the Library.
• All the Encyclopedias are kept preserved in cupboards that are never opened.
• No student knows about almost half the books that are in the Library.
• Almost everyone is completing their Practical Journals 
• Half the students don't know what a library card is.
• Most of the students have never stepped a foot inside the college library.
• When you enter the Library, you are sometimes also reminded of that particular scene from the movie 'Main Hoon Na' when Zayed Khan steps into the Library for the 1st time ;)
• You see a different librarian every year. [Remember 'Librarian Dubey' from the movie '3 Idiots'?, when he says to Boman Irani - 'Permanent Hoon Sir....'] No such thing here...
• Even if you sneeze or cough loudly [of course its an involuntary action], the librarian looks at you in such a way as if you have massacred the entire Humanity..
• All the monthly magazines and Daily newspapers are edited, censored for offendable materials such as nudity, to prevent from imprinting such things on the feeble, young, delicate, minds of 18-22 year olds. [That is why don't get startled if you come across some holes in the newspapers and magazines while reading] Even the Sexpert column from the 'Mumbai Mirror' newspaper is not spared.

Do comment if you liked my post, and if it is Wise or Wicked...
#4 coming up next....
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You know you are in My College when..... #2

-:VB:-

You know you are in My College when.....

• You don't see Gundas, Taporis or Hoodlums - because the lack of these guys is fulfilled by some Professors, and Peons
• One Day in your TY, the Principal passes by you and your friends, you greet Him, and one of your friends-still clueless asks you: "Is HE our principal?"
• ALL the professors are hell bent on showing that they are a lot busier than anyone else on this whole planet, whereas most of them are not.
• Some students flaunt their Laptops even if they do not need them - YES, thank God, atleast Laptops are allowed...
• For most of the Inter-departmental competitions you are awarded prizes, and gift coupons, and not the much Valuable Certificates and Medals, or Trophies.
• The Peons, Lab-assistants, and even the Watchmen have more value than the students.
• Where the principle doesn't even bother to distribute a few chocolates to his students on his b'day, whereas most students spend the whole day preparing various programs for his b'day celebration.[aka Founders Day]
• You are given attendance for Intercollegiate festivals, events and sports only if you get a hold of either 1st, 2nd, or 3rd position. So... say "Helloooooo Blacklist"
• You find Princi's Little Helpers [just like those school monitors], who are Pnici's eyes, and are recruited from amongst your friends to keep an eye on you, getting lured by the colleges' policy of giving bonus marks in the exam.
• There are separate trips and hikes for both boys and girls.
• You are so traumatised, that even after you reach home, you insist on wearing your ID-card.
• Your ID-card is more valuable than your own Life.
• The college is nothing like its name.
• Some professors are active on Facebook even more than the students.
• The college xerox counter, the sole photocopy machine, is not available for the students most of the time, because it is always being used for college purposes..

Do comment if you liked my post, and if it is Wise or Wicked...
#3 coming up next....
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You know you are in My College when..... #1

-:VB:-

You know you are in My College when.....

• The College Gatekeeper asks you for your ID Card
• When he even asks some of the professors for their ID Cards.
• There is a CCTV Cam at the College-gate and the college-entrance, and later on almost everywhere..
• The only place that you won't find a Cam is............ Brace yourself............ the 'Loo'
• You remember watching " Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", and that particular scene where Hogwarts is shown like an Impenetrable fort.
• Very very very few students know the actual name of the college.
• In the Trophy shelf, you find only the rotating trophies of the college, and no Inter-collegiate or University trophies.
• The Complaint Box is placed near the Principals Office.
• You are always, time and again reminded of '3 Idiots' - 'Imperial College of Engineering'
• The Projector room is used for the enlightenment of school kids, to make their minds sharper than a small blade, rather than for the College Students who just have to wait for days to get an Hour of that room - who cares about them anyway? The School Kids are more Important..
• In the name of Annual Day, you are compulsorily made to sit for 3 hours to watch the college students dance, and hear the college appraise itself. A couple of minutes are spent appraising the merit rankers, and winners of various events.
• Almost every week, you find something broken in the Loo.
• You feel detained for a crime that you did not commit.
• Boys and girls cannot sit on a single bench - if seen, either you are warned - OR - directly relieved of your ID-card.
• There are so many girls, that you feel that - Men are Going EXTINCT on this planet.

Do comment if you liked my post, and if it is Wise or Wicked...
#2 coming up next....

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You know you are in My College when..... # Intro

-:VB:-

Hey Guys, This time I'll be posting  about my College.

Yup, the place where I studied. I won't name it, because I do not want to. Why give publicity for free??? Also the fact holds true that it is not something worth publicising.

Well, for the years that I was there, I really felt that the world deserved to know about this Institution - its uniqueness and weirdness alike. I have tried to show its true colours, many facts, and what goes on behind the scenes. Some of you may feel like cursing, puking, or even experience nostalgia. But believe me, whatever I will be saying is True to each and every alphabet.

If you wanna verify, go figure...

This series is entirely dedicated to the poor souls who are studying there right now.... May you attain 'Peace'

Stay tuned for the next edition...
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