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Friday, February 1, 2013

One liners - Feb. 2013


One liners for this month:

Here Goes:

1. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

2. Borrow money from a pessimist -- they don't expect it back.

3. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

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4. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

5. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

6. Never answer an anonymous letter.

7. It's lonely at the top; but you do eat better.

8. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

9. Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours.

10. Few women admit their age; few men act it.

11. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?

12. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

13. Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

14. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?

15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

16. Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.

17. Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.

18. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

19. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.

20. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

21. Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate

22. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.

23. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

24. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

25. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

[Source 1 ] [Source 2]

Thanks for reading, and do tell me if my posts are Wise or Wicked...

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