-:VB:-
One liners for this month:
Here Goes:
One liners for this month:
Here Goes:
- Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
- If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
- If someone with multiple personality disorder threatens to commit suicide, is it considered a hostage situation?
- If a man is talking in the forest and there’s no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
- I intend to live forever — so far, so good!
- Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
- Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
- Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
- Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.
- My hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom.
- My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
- Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
- Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
- No one is listening until you make a mistake.
- Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs...
- Facebook is telling me to "reconnect" with my brother...hmmm... I see him everyday!
- Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
- Okay, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
No comments:
Post a Comment