One liners - Oct. 2013

-:VB:-

One liners for this month:

Here Goes:

1. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
2. Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
3. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
4. Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!
5. Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass?
6. Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
7. Daddy, why doesn’t this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
8. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
9. Did anyone see my lost carrier?
10. Diplomacy is the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick.
11. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
12. Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
13. Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
14. Don’t piss me off! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.
15. Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.
16. Double your drive space. Delete Windows!
17. Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
19. Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.
20. Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
21. Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
22. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
23. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
24. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
25. Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.

Thanks for reading, and do tell me if my posts are Wise or Wicked...

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