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Sunday, September 1, 2013

One liners - Sep. 2013


 One liners for this month:

Here Goes:
  1. Nobody is perfect. I am Nobody.
  2. I am Nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.
  3. Pobody is Nerfect.
  4. 200,000 sperms and you were the fastest?
  5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  7. A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
  8. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
  9. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  10. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  11. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  12. A day without sunshine is like, night.
  13. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
  14. Always remember you are unique... just like everyone else.
  15. Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
  16. Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
  17. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
  18. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  19. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
  20. Beer: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
  21. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
  22. Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
  23. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
  24. Borrow money from a pessimist, they don’t expect it back.
  25. Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

Thanks for reading, and do tell me if my posts are Wise or Wicked...

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