One liners - August 2013 (Rajnikanth)

-:VB:-

One liners for this month:

This month I thought I'd give the one liners a Rajnikanth treatment.  This post deserves a special treatment, thus the lengthy post.

For details on Rajnikanth, check out Wikipedia.

Here goes:

1.        Rajnikanth does not need a watch, he decides what time it is

2.        When Rajnikanth calls 100, it is to ask if everything is OK !

3.        When Rajnikanth is playing cricket, the rain has to cancel its raining due to the match

4.        There is no CTL key in Rajnikanth’s keyboard, He is always in Control

5.        When Osama found that Rajnikanth is to help US to find him, he shot himself to death

6.        If Dracula bites Rajnikanth, then Dracula becomes Rajni’s follower

7.        Ghosts sit around campfire and tell Rajnikanth stories

8.        Rajnikanth already went to Moon and Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life

9.        Once a Police officer caught Rajnikanth, the cop was lucky enough to escape with a warning

10.    Rajnikanth can make onions cry!

11.    Rajnikanth can watch the Radio !

12.    Rajnikanth once took 15 wickets in an one day match

13.    People call 100 for Police help, Police calls Rajnikanth for Help

14.    Rajnikanth knows Victoria’s Secret !

15.    Rajnikanth built the hospital he was born in

16.    Harvard got it’s MBA from Rajnikanth

17.    Rajnikanth knows the last digit of pi

18.    Once Rajnikanth bite an apple and threw it away, not its is known as Apple computers logo

19.    There is no April 1st in Rajni calendar, because no one can fool him

20.    Dark spots on the Moon are the result of Rajnikanth’s shooting practice

21.    Rajnikanth can Like a Facebook post even before it is posted

22.    Rajnikanth died before 20 years, Death doesn’t have the courage to tell him yet

23.    Once Rajnikanth kicked a man, later he is remembered for being the first Man to Land on Moon

24.    When anyone says “No one is Perfect”, Rajnikanth takes it as a personal insult.

25.    Rajnikanth can delete the Recycle Bin !

26.    Gmail’s email address gmail@rajnikanth.com

27.    Monalisa got her smile from Rajnikanth

28.    Rajnikanth know “Choli ke peeche kya hai”

29.    Rajanikanth got nobel prize in acting.

30.    When Rajni wants the lights on, he simply turns the dark off !

31.    When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he already had 3 missed calls from Rajnikanth

32.    Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!

33.    Rajnikanth can hit 6 sixes in one ball

34.    Rajnikanth can play Tequila shot in Cricket

35.    Rajnikanth stopped playing cricket these days, because even if he plays a defensive shot, it lands on moon

36.    Once Stephen Hawking tried to convince Rajnikanth, He got what he deserved .

37.    Rajnikanth counted to Infinity many times

38.    Its a lie if any country other than India says that they have weapons of mass destruction, because Rajnikanth lives here.

39.    Rajnikanth can drown a fish

40.    Hollywood wants to make a movie Alien vs Rajnikanth, but they fear that Rajni may beat the Alien in just few seconds and people don’t watch a few seconds movie.

41.    Rajnikanth can play a Violin with a piano

42.    Rajnikanth knows what came first Egg or Chicken !

43.    Once death has “Near Rajnikanth experience”

44.    Once Rajnikanth and Superman had a competition, The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants!

45.    When Rajnikanth visits Intel’s office, they change their caption “Rajni Inside”

46.    Its only when Rajnikanth jumped onto earth from other planet, All the dinosaurs extincted

47.    Rajnikant can make fire using two ice cubes

48.    Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door

49.    Guinness World Records requested Rajni to not compete, else their book becomes a single line “All Records Won by Rajnikanth”

50.    Paul The Octopus was asked to predict Rajni’s IQ…. poor Paul!

51.    Amitabh Bachchan maybe be the host but only Rajnikant knows Kaun banega crorepati !

52.    Once Rajnikant kicked a horse in the chin.. It’s decendents were found to be giraffes!!

53.    When Rajnikant logs into twitter, twitter informs Rajnikant What’s happening!

54.    Rajnikant B.com Accounting Answer Paper is Termed as “Accounting Standards”

55.    When Rajnikanth plays skipping, we face Earth Quakes !

56.    The earth spins faster when Rajnikanth goes for Running !

57.    Rajnikanth can speak in Braille

58.    Rajnikanth once went to The Virgin Islands, later it is know as  “The Islands”

59.    Rajnikanth beat the Sun in Staring at each other Contest !

60.    Rajnikanth tears can cure the Cancer, but the sad thing is Rajnikanth never cries

61.    Rajnikanth can remember the Future !

62.    Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.

63.    Rajnikanth doesn’t age, because time cannot keep up with him

64.    Rajnikanth can paste something even before he copy it

65.    When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!

66.    There are nothing like seasons, Its just Rajnikanth who changes the temperature when he gets bored !

67.    Rajnikanth don’t like the other side of Moon!  That’s why its not visible from earth

68.    Why Rajnikanth have less hair ?? In old days people used to use them to Cut Diamonds !

69.    Rajnikanth completely read the book Facebook many times !

70.    When Google wants to search something, they search Rajnikanth

71.    Rajnikanth can divide by Zero !

72.    Rajnikant can actually run faster than his own legs

73.    Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

74.    There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

75.    Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

76.    New theory in Astronomy is, Galaxies are actually Running away from Rajnikanth

77.    Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 12 Seconds.

78.    To score more than 1600 in GRE, write Rajnikanth as answer to every question

79.    Ghosts are actually caused by Rajnikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

80.    Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

81.    Rajnikanth once emotionally break down, emotion begged him for mercy

82.    Rajnikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.

83.    When Rajnikanth asks you a question, there is no answer

84.    Once a cobra bit Rajnikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

85.    Rajnikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

86.    Rajnikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajnikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

87.    It takes Rajnikant 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

88.    Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Rajanikanth’ PC will crash.

89.    Rajnikanth can breathe in Vacuum

90.    Rajnikanth can type a sentence on a calculator

91.    Rajnikanth can judge a book by its Cover

92.    Rajnikanth is the only weapon allowed inside an aeroplane

93.    Rajnikanth’s emails never come back Undelivered

94.    Light just wishes it can one day beat Rajnikanth

95.    Rajnikanth can smell the sound

96.    Cigarettes smoked by Rajnikanth die from lung cancer

97.    Actually Rajnikanth doesn’t walk, he stays at one place and move the earth with his feet

98.    Rajnikanth can break one side of a glass!

99.    Rajnikanth can boil an egg in ice water

100.Rajnikanth wears sunglasses to protect the Sun from his powerful gaze

[Source]

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