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Saturday, March 1, 2014

One liners - Mar. 2014


One liners for this month:

Here goes:
  1. There’s no future in time travel.
  2. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
  3. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
  4. There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.
  5. Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
  6. Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.
  7. Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
  8. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
  9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
  10. To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
  11. Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
  12. Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
  13. Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
  14. We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
  15. We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
  16. Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
  17. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  18. What is a free gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
  19. What’s the speed of dark?
  20. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.
  21. When there’s a will, I want to be in it.
  22. When you don’t know what you are doing, do it neatly.
  23. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
  24. Who stopped payment on my reality check?
  25. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Thanks for reading, and do tell me if my posts are Wise or Wicked...

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