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Saturday, February 1, 2014

One liners - Feb. 2014


One liners for this month:

 Here goes:
  1. Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
  2. Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
  3. Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
  4. Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
  5. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
  6. Save your breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date!
  7. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
  8. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
  9. Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
  10. Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
  11. Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
  12. Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
  13. Support bacteria, they’re the only culture some people have.
  14. The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.
  15. The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
  16. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  17. The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
  18. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.
  19. The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
  20. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
  21. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
  22. The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
  23. The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
  24. The sooner you fall behind the more time you’ll have to catch up.
  25. The universe is a figment of its own imagination.  

Thanks for reading, and do tell me if my posts are Wise or Wicked...

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