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Monday, April 1, 2013

One liners - Apr. 2013


One liners for this month:

1.         Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
2.         If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
3.         For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.
4.         IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.
5.         Don't drink and drive. You might hit a bump ad spill the drink.
6.         I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
7.         I can handle pain until it hurts.
8.         I' writing a book. I got the page numbers done.
9.         If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
10.     It's been Monday all week.
11.     Gravity always gets me down.
12.     This statement is false.
13.     O God, give me patience... and HURRY!
14.     They told me I was gullible...and I believed them.
15.     It's bad luck to be superstitious.
16.     According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
17.     A Diplomat is someone who will tell you to go to hell in such a way, that you will look forward to it!
18.     Honk if you like peace and quiet.
19.     Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
20.     Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
21.     If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
22.     Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
23.     A day without sunshine is like, night.
24.     The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
25.     Never take life seriously. No one gets out alive anyway.

[Source 1 ] [Source 2]

Thanks for reading, and do tell me if my posts are Wise or Wicked...

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