Speak

-:VB:-

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

The one that begins with an introduction

Being a kid, we always had this naïve-ness about us, some qualities that unwillingly helped us learn and grow. Things like hope, grit, positivity and so much more.

We’d never give up. We’d always keep moving and pushing forward.

Learning to walk – a brilliant example. Learning to talk, running, picking up a new skill, riding bicycles, and countless other things. Things that defined the ability that we as humans should have. Things that make us human.

As kids, it wasn’t the innocence that got people to call kids as ‘naïve’, ‘inexperienced’, ‘didn’t know anything about the world’. But, kids are the most honest form of humanity.

Why?

Kids say what is on their mind. They speak the truth. They are not aware of the concept of lying, until they learn about it and how it will benefit them. They don’t hide feelings and nor do they let others hide it. If they know about yours too, oh they’re gonna talk.

No bribes, no pacts, no pinky promises work for them. They’ll promise not to tell your secret and then go full guns blazing about it. They have a puppy-eyed sorry that would make you go aww. Love them or hate them, they are what we desire to be.

Nostalgia or something like that

Why do we want to go back to being kids? Why do we wish to be younger, more carefree, or go back to the time when things were simple? We yearn to let go off our insecurities. We wish to be free.

We think to ourselves, that it won’t work. We want to give up and there needs to be a reason to justify and prove us correct in our heads – so it didn’t or it doesn’t work – fits the bill.

Have you noticed how you stopped building your skills and learning new things around the time you finished studies? Why? No hope for the future?  Reality check? Life was harsh? Well, did you pick it up after that bad-run, that worse phase, or the bad times? You didn’t. And why? Coz you grew up.

Woe is me

If you have that never-say-die attitude and you keep struggling, people tell you you’ll fail, they keep saying it is hopeless, they say it doesn’t work that way.

They say no one has done it that way before, it is done that way only, you’re an idiot for doing it, you’re hopeless, YOU’LL FAIL. And when you listen to them, you do. Even if you don’t listen to them and you fail, what’s stopping you from getting up and getting back at it?

We’re half worried by thinking too much.

We’re terrified each awake moment of our life as adults. We hide feelings, we put on faces, we build fake smiles. We can’t speak the truth fearing it will hurt someone, worry about the outcome, worry about the number of things it would change.

Them feels express

Why won’t we laugh? I can’t laugh openly. I have a weird laugh. I have my braces on and I don’t want to show them. I don’t look good while laughing. I snort when I laugh. What?!

Hell, we don’t even cry. Why? I’m a man, men don’t cry. I’m a girl, I’ll look weak. Oh, I can’t cry coz it will spoil my makeup. How will I look in front of people when I cry? I don’t look good when I’m crying.

We don’t express happiness, because we feel that it would be termed as showing off. The people around us are sad it would make them feel uncomfortable (of course in case you’re at a funeral, never do that). Would you come around as snobby? What if it jinx your happiness?

We don’t express our pain, no one would understand it, no one can help you, no one knows what you’re going through, nothing will make you feel better.

We don’t share. Be it happiness, to someone you’re crossed paths with, has passed you by or a smile to some kids, some strangers – why? Because we all think of the others as creeps. Everyone is a creep. Why did they smile at you for? Why did they look at you? What is going in their head?

Someone did a good job at something. How many of us appreciate them whole heartedly? To motivate someone so that they could only do better? To make them feel good about themselves? Or because they put in some effort that you feel was amazing?

We won’t probably share our feelings to the best of our friends or our closest relatives – maybe some part of you doesn't trust them to understand you.

Insecurities, Perceptions, Staying silent – the vices that hold you back.

The truth fairy

People who speak the truth, or talk their heart out regardless of the audience surrounding them, or even if it is to someone’s face - they are often laughed at, mocked, or ignored fearing that they might cause an embarrassment to you (if you’re their friend), or to someone that you know.

Speaking the truth and being yourself doesn’t mean that you be rude to someone, ignore other’s feelings, make others feel bad – that is DESPICABLE. And you don’t pass it off by saying “That’s the truth”. We’re humans and you’re supposed to have compassion and empathy when talking to people.

If you don’t have what it takes to have a conversation (without having the people punching the daylights out of you), LISTEN. That will give you a few ideas to make you get better at conversations.

Building careers

Do you consider yourself a good speaker? Do you make sense?

Get on stage. Make a career out of it.

Does your talk motivate people? Become a politician. Make a career out of it.

Do you have a good voice? Become a Radio Jockey. Make a career out of it.

Do you like to talk and can't stop? Awkwaaarrrrrddddd.....

Do you know why standup comedy is working now and why it didn't work before? Standups do what we love in our human nature - they talk, they speak, they narrate incidents. They talk about their feelings,  their awkward experiences and their opinions - all in a way that we find funny. Why? Because most of the time, we relate to it on a personal scale.

Why do motivational speakers exist today and not those years before? Because now, we need motivation and encouragement. We seek to learn from people other than our friends and family.

That's the power of speaking.

A couple of paragraphs that need you to think

How many of us actually put out the plain simple thought that you have in your head on a platter and serve it to people? How many of us actually express our feelings as they come to those – feelings about love, hate, or dislike?

We build our own imaginary discussions, trying to barricade our emotions thinking how other people would judge our thoughts and our feelings and behave with us? What will they think if they could hear what you were thinking? 

Jeez! We all do that.

We create these eerily intricate scenarios and situations in our heads that creates what-if situations. If I do this, this will happen, it would impact that, what will happen to that then, what will he/she think, will it make things bad, will it make things good… PUSH THE BRAKES!

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Okay.

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I’ll tell you why. That’s humanity.

That’s us thinking excess. Our knowledge acts against us. Our ability to think and act - our gift and our curse.

And that is the entire purpose of it. To hold you back, to drag you down – and forcing yourself to overcome such feelings and situations. It wants to make you better.

Yes, we fall down, we make bad decisions, terrible decisions, we may make incredibly bad choice – but that itself is the way out.

Some unspoken rules about Speaking

• Talk depending on your surroundings. Don’t start speaking about your feelings in a workplace meeting or call. Big NO!
• There’s always someone listening to you. (including the NSA)
• Talk what you have on your mind.
• Can’t talk, write – keep a journal, write fiction, write blogs. Make podcasts, make YouTube videos, make video journals – and post them.
• Chatting on your mobile phone, that’s a way of communicating too.
• Some people find talking to pets very refreshing – if that works, good for you.
• But remember, never force someone to talk – that’s a bummer. NEVER DO THAT.
• Respect people, their privacy and their decision to converse.
• No, telepathy doesn't work.
• No, telepathy doesn't count as speaking.
• Okay, ventriloquism is a talent, better get to a talent show, or if you want it cheap - film and put it on YouTube.
• Speak only when you're spoken to - I'd say that depends on the situation.

Don't skip the last one

Is there a good time to speak?

Every living and breathing moment is good for speaking.

Speaking to oneself or imaginary friends or to that voice in your head? Umm, have a professional help you out.

How do you solve it? Speak.

If you’re around me, engage me in a conversation. I always love a good chat.

Just be kind and happy. Listen and speak.

I hope what I've written helps you in some way and just makes things easy for you.

Have a great time ahead.